Where you can support me
by sasuXnaruXChan
Summary: The war left a huge scar on Naruto's heart. When his friends continue with their lives, Naruto still mourns everyday. When will he be able to move on? When will he accept help from his close friends?


Dark days have lately been very common in Konoha.

The ocean of dark clouds seems endless. The sun hasn't been seen in weeks.

And the rain is pouring down. And there in a rather dark apartment is Naruto, walking around like he just woke up.

Naruto looks out of his window and sighs.

This weather was exactly how he was feeling lately.

"You were coming back to Konoha.. You were going to be Hokage, right?"

He slowly walks out of the kitchen, trying not to fall over the mess he had made the last days. Packages from ramen, some empty some half full, empty milk cartons and old bread is lying on the ground. But Naruto didn't mind.

'No mater what happens, I will there for you.'

Naruto walks to his bed and sits down.

'That is what you said.. The joy I had when you said it.. It was unbelievable..'

He grabs the team picture and looks at Sasuke.

"Maybe.. Maybe if I told you.. Maybe you wouldn't be so far away from me right now.."

A tear rolls down Naruto's cheek as he falls down on his bed, laying the picture on his chest.

"Maybe I could hold you right now.. Instead of this picture.."

A bright yellow flash lights the room for a moment.

'I will never forget our time in Team 7..'

He lifts the picture and lays it down next to him.

'The bells... Where you wanted to feed me. You disobeyed Kakashi-sensei. But thanks to that.. We made it.'

Naruto smiles as his thoughts go all the way back to the beginning.

'Sasuke.. your face was completely adorable back there. You cared about me more then the rules...'

As Naruto turns on his side he sees Sasuke's face in front of him.

'Your onyx eyes.. Even when they didn't show a lot of emotions.. They were always beautiful...'

Naruto reaches out for Sasuke's face, even when he knows it is not there, he can still feel the smoothness of his pale cheeks.

'Our first C-rank mission, Haku and Zabuza..'

Naruto smiles as he grabs the picture again and stares at Sasuke.

"You wanted me to continue living, to make sure my dream came true.. You didn't mind dying for me.. Yet, I can't imagine a life without you.."

Naruto slides his finger over Sasuke's face.

He sighs and sits up.

'You left us.. but came back to help us. You lost your brother... '

Naruto wipes his tears away and turns around to look outside.

'I lost Jiraiya.. yet, I don't believe that it is the same..'

Naruto grabs a shirt from the floor and puts it on.

"Maybe.. Maybe if I go to him.. Maybe then I will feel better.."

Tears are still rolling down his cheeks but his eyes are like two big blue empty holes.

He stands up and tries to find a jacket that doesn't look like it hasn't been washed.

Naruto sighs as he decides to go without one.

'It's not like I care.. You always cared..'

He stands with his hand on the door knob, ready to open the door.

'Ever since we ended in the same team.. You took care of me like I was your little brother..'

Naruto slowly opens the door.

'You were always there to take care I would survive..'

There is no one by his house. It was different then last time he left his house.

Three days ago everyone was standing in front of his door. Waiting for him to leave, waiting for him to start talking. But instead of talking, Naruto turned around and went back inside.

But today, he wouldn't do that. Today he would visit him.

Today he will see how they were doing.

'Mom, dad, Ero-sennin...'

Naruto starts to walk through Konoha.

His first stop, the cemetery, there where his parents were sleeping for eternity.

He will walk by Sakura's house, he knows that. But right now, that isn't important.

'Why.. She always loved Sasuke.. yet, she said she loved me... I don't think I will ever understand girls.. they just make everything difficult.. right, Sasuke? That must have been the reason why you always ignored the girls of our class..'

After three minutes of walking through the rain Naruto's clothes are drenched.

The wind starts to blow harder, the rain falls down faster, but there still is no end to these dark days.

The smell of delicious ramen does nothing to Naruto.

"Naruto! Wait!" He hears Sakura yelling, but right now that is not the thing he needs.

"Just let me be alone.." Naruto says as Sakura has finally cached up and walks next to him.

"You need to talk with someone. This is not something you can just process like this!" Sakura tries to hold an umbrella above Naruto.  
"I really don't need to talk about all of this."

Naruto pushes the umbrella away and starts to walk a little bit faster.

"You tried to bring him back for so long, you went through so much." Sakura says as she tries to keep up.

"Just leave me!" Naruto jumps away as tears flow down his cheek, though it isn't visible at all.

Sakura stops running as she realized that Naruto wouldn't want to talk.

'What is wrong with you, Naruto? We all lost him.. Why are you ignoring us...'

Sakura looks at the direction Naruto is heading, sighs and turns around.

"Please.. Just talk with us.." She whispers to her self as she can't help to let a tear roll down her cheek.

She takes one look over her shoulder, then lowers her face and walks back home.

Naruto stops as he notices that Sakura isn't behind him.

He leans against a building and looks up at the dark sky.

'Why... why does no one understand it.. why does no one realize that talking doesn't make this pain go away..'

Naruto feels his hair stinging in his eyes.

As he brushes his hair out of his eyes he realizes that he forgot his forehead protector.

"It doesn't make a difference.."

He shakes his head hoping some of the water will leave his hair, but it is futile.

'Sasuke.. Are you doing this..'

He pushes himself away from the wall and continues to walk to the cemetery.

He looks down at the floor, avoiding the eyes from anyone who would be outside with this weather.

'Would this have happened if.. if you would still be here.. Jiraiya.. Would you have tried to stop me, would you have tried to stop the kages? … With who would you have teamed up? Would you believe me when I told you about the mission from Itachi? Do you think that anyone had believed me if I told them before the war..'

As he looks up he realizes that he is already by their graves.

"Hi mom, hi dad.." Naruto sits down by their graves.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been here so much the last days.. or weeks..."

Naruto takes a deep breath.

"I miss you, both of you... You have no idea how much I need someone who would understand me.. Or even someone who would try to understand me would be enough..."

Naruto wipes his nose on his lower arm.

"But apparently it is to much for anyone to try!"

Lightning hits a tree nearby and the loud noise takes care that Naruto doesn't realise that Kakashi walks up to him.

"Naruto.." Kakashi says as he lays the flowers down by their graves.

"If you need an ear.."

Naruto didn't even bother looking at Kakashi and keeps looking at the ground.

The grass is hanging, unable to keep itself standing with the weight of the rain.

"Do you want me to stay?" Kakashi asks as he lays his hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"You don't... understand.." Naruto cries as he swiftly looks at Kakashi.

"You lost your best friend, the one who would do almost everything for you to have you safe." Kakashi sighs as he takes his hand back.

"I don't understand the pain you must have, but I know how painful it is to lose your friends. So, maybe.."

"NO! I won't.." Naruto stands up.

"You can stay.. But I'm leaving.."

Naruto runs away as Kakashi sighs deep.

'What is going on with you? Why are you so sad?'

' I'm sorry mom, dad..'

Naruto walks through the forest as he kicks a pebble.

'Maybe it is my own fault..'

He stares at the dark sky, which colours yellow every time the lightning strikes.

'Maybe my friends do understand how it is to lose your best friend, your brother, your first bond.. they don't understand how it is to lose your lover...'

"Why does no one understand how hard it is.. I don't.. I just.." Naruto stutters.

The rain starts to fall down slower then before and the wind starts to blow harder.

Naruto puts his hands in his pocket and sighs rather relieved.

"Maybe I should.. well.. I don't know what to do.. Can you help me out, Jiraiya?"

Naruto looks at the small grave he made almost a year ago. Jiraiya's book was the only thing left by the stone.

'I guess that nothing lasts forever.. Not even your flowers, Konan..'

Naruto sighs.

'You would call me crazy.. yet you would be happy, right?'

He wipes away his tears and rubs his hands together.

"It actually makes me feel better, talking to you guys.."

Naruto smiles and sits down in the soaked grass.

"Maybe it feels good because you would always listen to me."

'Should I go to Sasuke..?'

Naruto looks up at the tree tops, smiling widely even though there is nothing to see.

" Well, I will be going.."

Naruto stands up and walks back to Konoha.

The streets are empty and the wind has settled down. The sky is still filled with the dark clouds. The bright flashes come more often and the time in between becomes smaller.

Naruto walks through the main road and can't help to notice all the people who are warm and dry in their houses.

'We could have been just like that, together, in a warm house... Smiling...'

Naruto makes an attempt to clear his head, trying to think of absolutely nothing. To walk with no destination.

The academy on his left, the place were it had all started.

They met, they fought, it were the good days. The days Naruto had smiled, not because they were friends, no. He smiled because Sasuke's beautiful onyx eyes were cold, but not meant for him.

And Sasuke was just like him, alone, people were whispering behind their backs.

'We truly understand each other..'

Naruto smiles as he leaves the academy behind him.

'We became team 7, we grew closer to each other, you're my best friend...'

Naruto digs his hands deeper in his pockets, hoping for the cold to disappear.

'You would have told me that I should go home, to warm up. And if that was to far you would bring me to your place, like you did last time.. But that was almost four years ago..'

The rain was pouring down and the sky was darker than black. There was no one walking outside afraid they might get hurt by the raging wind.

"You shouldn't be outside with weather like this."

Sasuke held Naruto's arm and pulled him underneath his umbrella.

"Says who! Teme!" Naruto pouted as he was surprised that Sasuke was outside as well.

Naruto tried to free himself from Sasuke's grip.

"I'm taking you home." Sasuke pulled Naruto with him as he started to walk.

Naruto was surprised by Sasuke's sudden action and didn't know what to do for a moment.

"Oi~ My home isn't this way!"

Naruto said as he tried to stop Sasuke.

"I know."

Sasuke replied quick and continued walking into the same direction only a little bit faster.

"Sasuke! Let me go!" Naruto struggled but couldn't find enough energy to free himself.

'damn it! Maybe I shouldn't have pushed myself so hard while training.. And I'm starting to freeze..'

"My house is nearby, stop whining."

Sasuke said without looking at Naruto.

Naruto wanted to say something like: 'I can go to my own place' or ' let go you freak, I can take care of myself.'

But the warmth in Sasuke's voice had stopped him.

"If you stay outside you can get wounded." Sasuke opened the door from his house.

"Come in." He said as he held the door open for Naruto.

"I will get you some of my clothes and a towel. Just wait here."

Sasuke closed the door and quickly walked away.

Naruto stood in a rather small hall, but it was comfortable and warm.

"Why did you take me here?" Naruto asked as Sasuke came back and handed him a towel.

"There is a storm coming and I was on my way back from the market. That is when I saw you training and realized that you had no idea."

Naruto took his shirt of and started to dry himself.

"You could have told me about the storm.."

"I could have done that, but then you would have gone to your place.. And that is to far away.." Sasuke opened the door to the living room.

"Do you wanna drink something warm?"

"No thanks.. And I would have gotten home safely! Why would you worry about me.."

Naruto had put on the clothes Sasuke had laid down for him.

Naruto followed Sasuke as he heard a loud bang coming from outside.

"What was that?!" Naruto asked as he ran to the window in the living room.

"That's the storm.." Sasuke sat down at the table in the middle of the room.

"How will I get home like this.." Naruto crossed his arms and laid his head on the window frame.

"You can wait till it has stopped or if you want to you can stay here."

Naruto turned around and saw Sasuke smiling.

'I will never forget that night...'

Naruto smiles as he walks up the stairs to the Kage's heads.

'We laughed, talked with each other about what we knew about our family.. Meaning I was listening to Sasuke most of the time..'

Naruto looks at the sky as multiple lightning light up the sky, just like that night.

'We slept in the same bed.. I was cold, crawled closer to Sasuke.. And he.. he pulled me in for a hug.. It was a hug I would never forget..'

Naruto starts to blush lightly as he thinks about Sasuke's words.

"You will never be alone, I will always be there for you."

Sasuke said as he kissed Naruto's forehead.

"Sasuke.. Is this how it feels to have an older brother?" Naruto looked at Sasuke, who had a rather red face.

"I don't know, but it does feel good." Sasuke closed his eyes and yawned.

"Lets sleep."

Sasuke pushed Naruto closer against his chest.

'I fell asleep while listening to his heartbeat, while being surrounded by his warmth..'

Naruto stops when he is halfway up the stairs.

'You supported me through the Chuunin exam. I wanted to be stronger to keep you safe from Orochimaru, safe from your brother, safe from the Kages.. The person who supported me..'

Naruto looks down, down to the empty streets, sighs and continues walking.

'I had no idea back then. I thought that I had hurt myself in my sleep.. But now I know.. It was you, you gave those marks to me.. A biting mark on my hand and a hickey on my shoulder.. I know that now.. But I wish I knew it back then..'

The wind is playing with the small branches of the big trees.

'No matter what my plan was.. No matter what I suggested..'

"It was you who supported me.. Even when my ideas looked really stupid.. It was you! Always! Every time again! And right now.. When I need you so badly.. You lay here... but you can't support me anymore... You were always the one who understood me, protecting me against others, giving your life for me! And you went to far!"

Naruto falls on his knees as he stands in front of a big oak with a small stone lying in front of it with the words:

'Here lays the best friend I could ever wish for. May you find peace at the other side.

Uchiha Sasuke'

"I need you! Right now! I didn't need you back there! I could have handled the Raikage with my own hands.. I could have avoided him on my own.. You..."

The river of tears don't stop, it only becomes bigger and bigger.

"You didn't have to jump between us! You didn't have to die!"

Naruto lays his head on the stone.

"I already lost everything! The last thing I needed to lose was you! TEME!"

Naruto stops yelling as the wind starts to play with the leaves again, like the wind is answering him.

"I could have brought you back.. You could have stayed here with me.."

Naruto bites his thumb.

"We could have been happy..."

Another flash of Lightning is visible at the dark sky.

"Together.."

The rain falls down even harder then before. Naruto sits up and looks at the stone.

"Just like you wanted. Right, Sasuke.."

Naruto grabs a necklace out of his pocket

"You gave me this.. The day of the storm. As promise that you would always be there for me! But.." Naruto clamps the necklace.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!"

The river of tears become an ocean, an unstoppable flow of tears.

"Why.. I need you now more then ever!"

A raging wind starts to blow as a strike of lightning hits a tree nearby, but Naruto doesn't move an inch.

"I don't care about all of this.. I just want to be with you..."

Naruto lays his head on the stone.

"If the thunder kills me.. I will be thankful.."

It is like the gods hear him.

One bright flash is the last thunder coming down.

It hits the big oak, which starts to burn as Naruto whispers something to himself before he falls asleep.

"If I live... It is because you wanted me to be Hokage.."

"Oi~Usuratonkachi.." A familiar voice said.

'Usuratonkachi?' Naruto opens his eyes and got blinded by a bright white light for a moment.

"Didn't you learn not to look directly at a lightsource?"

Naruto turns his head to the sound.

He opens his mouth to say something, but he couldn't find the words.

"Took you long enough, for someone who said that we would die together, right?"

Sasuke smiles as he reaches out for Naruto's face.

Tears roll down Naruto's face as Sasuke places a kiss on his forehead.

"I won't leave you again."


End file.
